I loathe you, Bella Swan.

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 20:50:33 GMT

Hahahaha, so my friend and I were discussing the series, and he (yes, he, because he's amazing) asked me why I hate Bella so much. I'm just posting my response to that on here. Be warned; it's a rather long rant. :]

And now: Why I hate the character Bella Swan!
    "She's RIDICULOUSLY helpless. Seriously, she's the epitome of the damsel in distress. She's always getting herself in some mortal danger, and then Bam!, here comes Edward, her knight in sparkling-skin armor, to save the day. Every single time. Not to mention that on top of being stupid and getting herself in dangerous situations, she's clumsy as fuck. I don't know how many times I've seen the phrase, "I braced myself for the impact with the ground, when two strong, granite arms wrapped around my waist and rescued me at the last minute!" How very cheesy. Not only can she not defend herself, she can't even walk! How did she possibly survive all these years in a city ten times bigger than Forks without the help of the mighty Edward? Unsolved mystery of the universe, if you ask me.
    Another thing that bothers me, is if you've ever read the exact description of Bella, it could EASILY be describing the author, Stephenie Meyer. Wish fulfillment much? I mean, putting yourself in a story in which "the main character" (cough-you-cough) falls in love with a too-gorgeous "perfect" vampire. Come on, that makes me think of some fat, goth, fourteen year old girl sitting at her computer writing crappy stories about her breath-taking romance between her and her unattainable crush, which we all know is never actually going to happen in real life.
    I also hate how she acts like she's so afraid of attention, but she still manages to be a complete attention whore throughout all of the books. Example: In Breaking Dawn, she COMPLAINS about how embarrassing it is to be driving around town in the totally awesome car that Edward bought her! Are you kidding me? I'd be like, "Yeah, go ahead and stare. I know my car is the shit." She makes me angry. Oh, but then, for an example of an attention whore moment, in Eclipse when Edward wants to fight for her, she's all, "I've already gone crazy once, and I can't stand it if you leave me!" Blah blah fucking blah. Of course, nothing happens to her beloved Edward in the end. But, also of course, she tries to do something stupid again and be a hero (and fails entirely) by cutting herself with a rock to distract Victoria. Way to go, emo Bella.
    In short, she's a stupid, helpless, clumsy, whiny, annoying bitch. Extreme dislike."

Man, I can talk for a long time about fictional characters. I need a life. xD

PS- The funny thing about this whole rant, is that I'm actually excited about the release of the fourth book. We'll just call it a love/hate relationship.

Life, and the misery it entails!

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 08:52:45 GMT

I'm completely joking with the emo title, in case anyone thinks I'm serious. :]

A little something about my summer:
    1) For the most part, it's been extremely boring. I've spent the majority of my time on my computer talking to people online because all of my real-life friends have been either out of town or unable to get rides/money. However, I guess this isn't too bad. You'd be amazed by how many funny things I've found just searching the internet. God, my summer is pathetic.
    2) I went to a really fun camp at the beginning of June. It was a week long, half day Creative Writing camp at ASFA. It met some really interesting people there. (There were two freshmen girls, who were both really nice. There were three other sophomore girls, two of which were awesome, and one who was... mute. And then, there was an Asian guy that made me smile.) The teacher was hilarious. Oh my goodness, he's probably one of the funniest (and inappropriate) teachers I have ever met. I had a great time, and I really wish it had been longer. Actually, I just wish I could go to again next year, but unfortunately, I'm too old for it.
    3) I went to Alabama Adventure this past Friday (Happy 4th of July!). It kind of sucked. It was super crowded because it was a holiday. By the way, why do people always go to theme parks on holidays? I asked my mom about that, and she said, "Well, everyone will just assume that it's going to be crowded, and think 'Why would I waste my time?', so there usually aren't as many people there." Really? That makes no sense! What actually happens is that everyone assumes that no one will show up because they think it'll be crowded, and then everybody and their brother shows up. Anyway, the crowd was pretty ridiculous. Although, I went to the amusement park during the hottest part of the day, while everyone else was in the water park, and there were hardly any lines, which rocked. Also, I was just about every odd numbered wheel that you could imagine. The pairings were as follows: Mom and John, Sarah and Brian, Jacob and Jordan, AnnaRay and Isaac, Briauna and friend. Oh, but wait! Briauna didn't have a friend to bring with her because Briauna's friends already had plans for the holiday! Needless to say, it sucked. Luckily, my mom is awesome and rode most of the rides with me.
    4) I'm going back to Alabama Adventure on Tuesday with my best friend for her birthday. I'm going to die from being so sore, but at least this time I'll have a lot more fun.
    5) I'm going to a church Youth Conference down in Troy on Thursday. I really am not expecting to even have a good time at this thing, so I won't talk about it.
    6) I really don't have any other plans for the summer. Lame. Oh well, I'll just occupy my time with wishing I was doing something important.
    7) You probably don't care at all about my boring summer. In fact, you probably aren't even going to read this part because you quit reading a few numbers up, but you know what? I don't care. I'm going to talk about it to myself on my LiveJournal blog, because I hear that's what all the cool kids are doing.
    8) Note the sarcasm.

~Briaunax

To Neverland, we will fly

I loathe you, Bella Swan.

Life, and the misery it entails!